Happy Father's Day

Today we celebrate those men among us who chose to procreate. Every one of us has a father, but the lucky among us call him Dad.

For me the difference is easy to define, a father makes a baby and thinks his work is done; a dad helps to raise the child he’s made and is there to watch that child grow. He spends the next 18 years helping to protect, mold and shape his child into a responsible adult. He continues to advise his child and help in whatever way he can, long after the child has become a woman or a man. A dad’s commitment is for life. Not an easy job, but one I highly recommend.

I’m a lucky guy; I have my dad, who perfected the art, and the dad who took me into his family when I married his only daughter almost 30 years ago.

No one had to teach me how to be a dad; I spent 18 years watching an artist at work. As I look back, I am amazed at how dad juggled everything he did. I know at one time he worked three jobs and still found time to coach baseball and help with homework. Summer trips to damn near every state park that existed; sometimes before they actually did. He managed vacations to Florida, Baltimore, and D.C., a lifetime of memories that reside within me. We saw every small town in central Illinois, if they had a softball diamond and a team to play. Watching dad play softball in all of these towns was how summer weekends were spent; dad was the catcher, and man could he hit. He’s helped to raise his grandchildren and now great-grandchildren are here, and dad is still teaching me, mine, and theirs.

Now we look at dad number two, who for 30 years of my life, has been there for me too. The childhood memories are not part of this dad, but his counsel and advice have left an indelible mark on a large part of my adult life, as well as my heart. Like dad number one, he raised three children the best that he could. All became the adults that he knew that they would. The job that he did is obvious to me; I’ve spent 30 years with his daughter as my wife, a woman with morals and values, who knows how to live life. Like dad number one, he’s still teaching life’s lessons to me, mine, and theirs, a commitment they continue year after year.

So, to both of my dads, I’d like to say; “Here’s wishing you both, a Great Father’s Day!” 

I should point out that both have wonderful wives, who helped to raise us as well. I was gone over Mother’s day, their blog was not written. I would be remiss not to mention the moms’ contribution, but its Father’s Day, so they both get an honorable mention.

Love you all!

It's the Little Things....

Spending every day and night in pain is not a pleasant thing, nor is it easy to do. You make adjustments, and move forward. Retirement by disability has allowed me the time to reflect on many things; using family research as pain management has allowed me to realize that it is always the little things that matter.

I knew long before I became a father, that I would never be the father my dad was, and is. He set the bar at heights I could only hope to come close to. Upon reflection, it was always the little things that mattered the most, and he and mom made those happen.

I did a fair job with my kids, they are all adults I can be proud of, but I can’t help but think about some of the little things I might have done better. No regrets, I did the best I could knowing I would never equal my mentor.

Enter the grandchildren. Kael, now 6, and his mother Nicole have lived with my wife and I since he was 6 months old. Kael is Autistic; specifically he has Asperger’s Syndrome. Highly intelligent, socially awkward; most of his days are pre-planned by him, and breaking that schedule can create havoc.

Kael’s cousin Hadley is Jesse’s 2 ½ year old daughter. She is also very intelligent for her age, and loves spending time with Kael.

When Hadley last visited, she went to Kael’s toy box, picked out a book, and took it over to Kael. She asked him to read it to her. He dropped everything and sat down next to her and began to read her the book. Nobody else on the planet could get Kael’s attention that quickly. She had picked a doozy. The top paragraph on each page was to be read, the bottom paragraph was to be sung. Kael read and sang the entire book, much to Hadley’s delight, and mine.

It’s the little things….

Kael graduates kindergarten this morning. He is at the top of his class. In fairness, I don't think there was much new to him in kindergarten. He had a very good year, but towards the end, during review, boredom led to some behavioral problems. I made him a deal; 10 good days at school and the year would be over. Give me 10 good days and I'll have a big surprise for you. He stuck to our deal and brought home awards in reading and math to boot. So tonight, he got his surprise early; a new android tablet. He was very pleased and excited. And then it happened….

I received a spontaneous bear hug and he said “You're the best grandpa anyone could ever have.”

It’s the little things….